I typed a long text message at 6am this morning and while doing so I had to suppress the guilt ridden feeling that was building inside. It really felt like I was breaking up with somebody. Hahahah...!!! Goodness. (If that’s how it feels like, I’d rather be alone all my life.) Plus I don't want to lie anymore.
Later in the morning, I received 2 messages. I felt sick outta my guts all over when I read them.
But every thing is all gooood now. Phew. *Wipes sweat off forehead*
I wasn’t ready to plunge into a world so different from mine. I was taken care of but it wasn’t 'family' enough and maybe that’s why I started feeling discouraged.
Like I’ve once said, I am not ready to bargain with my life.
I hope the -ahhh-i'm-homesick-i-feel-like-puking-and-cuddling-beside-my-mum feeling- would go away really soon. Because: I. NEED. TO. GROW. OUT. OF. IT.
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